Month: July 2017

Loose Change

The Coin Star change machine was hella noisy at the grocery store today. But rent had to come out of last Friday’s paycheck, and after some other bills I was down to less than $7.00 in my account today. The plastic teddy bear above, which formally housed animal crackers, had been my coin receptacle for about the past two years. I poured all of it in the Coin Star and it was a little over $140.00. The grocery store customer service took its cut and gave me just over $120.00 in cash. It was immediate relief and a temporary reprieve to my financial stress and worry. It’s some groceries this week and a little gas for the car. Maybe a badly needed haircut too, but I doubt it.

Walking out of the grocery store, high on my petty windfall, I briefly thought of Amanda and the few other girls who wanted to spend their lives with me. Then I came home and masturbated to some Nicole Aniston porn.

No one

I’m lying on my living room floor with my head between my two stereo speakers. U2’s With or Without You is playing directly into my head . . . the simple but prominent bass line, that weird whistling noise . . . right into my head. It’s a really sad song, but it’s sad to me because it doesn’t make me think of anyone. There’s no one I miss right now and I wish there was. The majority of my adult life has been rejection and unrequited lust, but at the moment I have no one to want. And I woke up this morning and looked like shit. All oily and some white heads on my chin.