It’s the beginning of the month, so I can afford things – things like a full tank of gas, Chipotle, a couple of movie rentals from iTunes, groceries. It won’t last long, though. I ate a big-ass burrito and a half-pint of ice cream today, but I feel good even though I only slept for a couple hours last night. But I am tired and my stomach is full.
If Carrie at work was single, I’d probably ask her out and end-up banging her. She has athletic legs and bouncy boobs. She’s at least someone to talk to these days.
I picked up some Nyquil today, and I’m going to drink some and get a badly needed eight hours tonight. I am so tired that I probably won’t even masturbate to Nicole Aniston tonight.
I said I “probably” won’t…