I have a “massage” appointment later today. I saw this hot Russian lady on Backpage and I couldn’t not try her out. I can’t afford this, but then again, I need this now. I was really depressed today about my life and this will help. Plus, I haven’t cum in like three-days, so I should have a nice load. I really need a girl’s hands on my cock now.
I should run a razor over my cock first. Get it nice and smooth. I hope she’s as hot as her picture. I just need some affection now – even if it’s artificial. Something to lift my spirits for a bit.
A COUPLE OF HOURS LATER
The house was in northeast Minneapolis. I was a little suspicious and almost bailed. An older woman met me half-way near Psycho Suzi’s. She parked her car, got into my car and we drove to this tiny house with a tiny driveway. Inside, I saw a closed circuit surveillance camera on the exterior of the house. I think I got the “bait and switch” because the hot Russian girl wasn’t there. I doubt she even exists.
The old woman led me to a small, dark back room. An Asian girl was sitting on the bed when she opened the door. “Honey” was wearing a red piece of lingerie. I undressed and she started. I paid $120.00 for the half-hour. She said if I wanted her nude, it would be $140.00. So I did. She undressed to the most perfect body I’ve ever seen in-person. Perfect implants. Pierced nipples.
I got hard immediately. She was stroking me and I was rubbing her nipples. She was moaning and said it felt nice. The half-hour was nearing and I asked her to get in the 69 position. I almost wanted her to stay in front of me because her body looked so perfect. But she put her ass right in front of my face. I was cupping her tits. I exploded. Exploded hard. She was moaning with me as I was cumming. She gave me some Kleenex and got me a wet cloth.
Was it worth it? I don’t know. Her body was perfect. Those fake boobs…incredible. It was $140.00 that I pulled from my credit card. Money for bills, and now it’s gone. I feel a little guilty for using what little money I have for filth. A little shame. My friends have their wives/girlfriends, and I’m in a dimly lit room with an Asian (albeit hot) prostitute. Is that my life?
I needed that, though. I was really down today because of the expense of life. The cost of being poor. Sucks.
I got really, really drunk last night. I went to Chino Latino with Cheney and some other people. I saw Rox and Hamper there and went to Liquor Lyle’s with them. I saw Elizabeth right when I walked in the door. The coolest thing was that I wasn’t even affected by it. I went over to say “hi” to her in my drunken state and that was it. I had zero interest in talking to her. She left without saying goodbye and that was fine. She was with her girlfriend from high school that I met on New Years Eve. I wouldn’t even cared if she was with some dude, but she wasn’t. So cool that she doesn’t matter to me – so fuckin’ cool. She probably thinks I’m totally uncool.
I went to Hamper’s afterward and I ended up making out with Tasha in the basement. I probably shouldn’t have done that since I have no interest in her. I was just so incredibly drunk and stupid.
I wish I would’ve looked cooler when I saw Elizabeth. I wish I would’ve been with someone. I wish I didn’t care about this stupid shit, but she didn’t affect me.
I was bored and alone – shocker! I e-mailed another “massage” on Backpage and she called me back immediately. She was $150.00/hour – a little expensive, but I wanted to get jerked-off again. I drove to the Clarion Hotel in Bloomington to meet her. She was a light-skinned black girl. Big boobs. They felt nice against my back. I’ve never had a girl with boobs that big before.
She (Erin) straddled my naked body and stroked my cock good. She kept her panties on, though. I was playing with her nipples and she was moaning and tilting her head back. I was focusing on not cumming. I loved her boobs. She was really squeezing my cock while I played with her nipples. At one point, she started bouncing up and down like we were fucking. Just as she was reaching around to massage my balls, I came a fucking amazing orgasm. All the sensual stroking must make orgasms better. The orgasm seemed to last longer than normal.
So I’m paying women to get naked with me and jerk me off and to tit fuck them. All my friends have wives and I do this. So what?
At night is when I think about killing myself…brief thoughts. I think about my life now, and the times my mom hit me when I was little. Fierce hitting that comes from being mad about something else. I want to escape all that shit and die so that those fuckin’ thoughts die too. No more self-disappointment. Death cures.
Not being loved by someone and failing your potential makes you think like this. I’m going to buy some new work clothes tomorrow. Maybe it’ll make me feel better. The cardio is working. The skin underneath my chin is tighter. See, for a minute there, I didn’t think about being better off dead.