I’m lost. That’s how I feel. I’m at that point where I have to do something, but I don’t know what that is. No career or relationship. It blows my mind that my peers have wives and houses and I’m so far from that. I don’t know.
So, do I go to Los Angeles and be all alone there too? Something’s gotta happen. Where is my plan? I know what I want to do and I can’t do it here. Success is waiting for me…somewhere. But sometimes, like tonight, it hits me how alone I live. I am invisible. Who else lives like this? Am I gonna be alone forever? Where is my someone? Drinking, fucking and sleeping my way through life at this point.
On the upside, I got my first check for being a writer – $10.00 for my first record review. Not much, but it’s how Cheney got started…she’s looking uber-hot these days. Fuck. She texted me last night about an after-bar, but I passed. Fuck. I stole this pic from her blog, so she won’t care…
But tonight, it really hurts realizing how alone I am. No one to talk to or joke around with. Alone. Alone. I’m allowed some self-pity. Pity. Pity.