It’s that time of year, folks. It’s time for the annual inductions into Parker’s Spank Bank Hall of Fame (SBHOF). There were a lot of worthy nominees this year, but only a handful (pun intended) of ladies get the coveted call to the Spank Bank Hall every year.
So without further delay, joining current members Julia Ann and Nicole Aniston in the SBHOF, I present the induction class of 2014.
Tennis star, Ana Ivanovic
Upon hearing the news, Ana released the following statement, “Growing up in war-torn Serbia, I never thought I would rise to the level of Parker’s SBHOF. It was a goal that I started to aim for a couple of years ago, and to achieve that now is truly an honor. And I would like to thank Adidas for making the tights that likely secured my induction into Parker’s SBHOF.”
WCCO reporter, Aristea Brady
An elated Aristea had this to say, “I know that my uncanny resemblance to [Nicole] Aniston had a lot to do with this tremendous honor. However, I hope to carve out my own identity through more form fitting skirts and sleeveless tops. Being the sole non-athlete inductee this year, I don’t have the advantage of being seen in revealing clothing with a glow of perspiration, and that just makes this achievement all the more special.”
U.S.A. figure skater, Ashley Wagner
Ashley phoned in from Soshi with the following comment, “My agent told me I was up for Parker’s SBHOF, but I didn’t want to get my hopes up, ya know? But I chose my Sochi practice outfits with the hope that Parker would notice and thankfully he did. Being the youngest ever SBHOF inductee is an honor not lost on me. I have many more years on the ice and hope to provide Parker with just as many years of self-pleasure.”